Friday, November 19, 2010

hold my hand

I'm five years old, I'm with my daddy. I feel so happy to be with him, our night out together with no boys yelling at me and calling me ugly or that I'm a stupid girl.
It's late, i didn't realize how dark it was outside until now. We stand at the beginning curve in the street, where a distant street light behind us can still make out a faint path for us. My dad stops...for the road ahead of us only has two things lighting it's path, the moon's reflective glow and a faint sight of a yellowish porch light softly peaking through a row of evergreens on the side of my grandma's house.

It's an old road, no street lights. During the day this road seems harmless but can definitely speak it's history with each cobble stone that was set in place. Looking like it's set there to hold up the road from it's very edge's. The edge of the road scares me, that my ankle might twist to have me fall down the side of it. Falling into a pit of darkness a place that seems so deep that the natural lights can't reach it. The bright side of me is telling me that it is only about a three foot drop but the drop wasn't the troublesome part. It's the dept of black shadow that seems to leark down there amongst the bottom. A hand waiting to grab me so i can not reach my father once i fall. A slithering night stalker that is waiting for me. These very thoughts scare me, i begin to sink my head down into my shoulders and clinch my hands to my dress. I just stand there frozen tracking every glimpse of light with my eyes so i can see the pavement.

I look up at my father, he's already looking down at me and then i hear him say so safely "Hold my hand baby girl." I tuck my little five year old hand into his so tightly and we begin our walk up Penacky Hill.

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