butterfly kisses

 

Being a little girl with fantasy's so real.

Not needing another soul there for company or a companion to share imagination together.

It's her and only her amongst hundreds of friends.

The one's she shares her dreams and secrets with.

The one's who know her best.

She's never alone....

all she has to do is close her eyes, hold out her hands,

smile at the very thought of the place where she will be lead to.

They guide her to a familiar place that she would like to call home.

A beautiful earthlandic sphere that she can call all her own.

Everything glistens with peaking sunlight.

Sparkles hint of dew, beaming full of color.

Flower's and plant life dancing across the land, hugging and waving with a welcome dance.

Color that is vibrant and empowering...

filling her with warmth and comfort.

She looks beautiful standing there, butterflies swirling around her.

Fluttering their wings causing a whimsical spray of glitter to enchant her.

Only if time could stop in this single moment....

lacey's m&m choc chip cookies

lacey's m&m choc chip cookies

This is one of our favorite things to do, bake COOKIES!! This year Lacey really wanted to be involved in the cookie baking process and let me tell you it was a blast!! Us girls had so much fun, we talked about all shorts of things. I told her that when i was 10 years old i baked an oatmeal cookie for my dad that was the size of a dinner plate, needless to say, of course now she wants to try this.

Here is Lacey's recipe for M&M Chocolate Chip Cookies and yummy they were!!

3/4 cup of butter flavored crisco

1 1/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

2 tablespoons milk

1 large egg

1 3/4 cup all-purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

1 cup M&M's

Instructions:

1. Heat oven to 375F

2. In a big bowl, blend crisco, brown sugar, vanilla, and milk. Blend in egg. In a small bowl, mix (do not blend) flour, baking soda, and salt. Pour the dry ingredients into the big bowl. Mix with a fork until flour disappears. Mix in chocolate chips and M&M's

 3. Use spoon or hands to drop a small portion onto the cookie sheet. Bake for 9 minutes.

4. And Enjoy :-)

winter fun time

 

I woke up at 7:00 a.m. on December 18th 2010....ahhhhh to be a kid again. Beautiful white snow falling from the sky, wrapping the ground with a blanket of snowflake fluff. The kids are all still snoozing in their slumber of flannel p.j.'s and fleece blankets. I myself slip back into bed, sheets and comforter still warm from my prior occupancy. Ralph is just starting to stir, stretch and open his eyes as i begin to tell him about the snow fall outside and how i can't wait for the kids to get up so we can go outside and play. We begin to discuss when we were kids and what winter snow meant for our adventure's outside. We were both early birds, especially if snow was in the forecast the night before. We never required company of either parent to play in our winter adventure either. Snowball fights, fortress igloo's, sledding down the biggest hill we could find!! OH SUCH FUN IT WAS!!! My parent's never offered to join in though, i didn't mind, but today i see the difference between our generations. I feel lucky to be creating this wonderful memory with my kids, a memory that only Dalton, Lacey and i will be sharing. Robbie couldn't make it outside and this is understandable even to Robbie. Him and I will and do share our own special memories together.

The look on the kids faces when they awoke, it's great, filled with smiles and excited chatter of what we'll play outside!! The kids are all bundled up and outside before me, i know they will be waiting for me...waiting to bomb me with snowballs as soon as i walk out...I'm prepared. I know what's coming, what i didn't expect was this....

Me holding my camera, i hear D and Lace in the back yard. ME i decide to go from the side door where the car port is and go through the front gate by the front door, it's already open. I'm looking around, i can see footprints of my children's winter fun time play all in the snow, i smile. Everything looks so pretty, the ground all covered with a white blanket of fresh snow, glittering with color from the warm sun that is now shinning. I head towards the little patch of sidewalk to step onto the front concrete porch and WHOOSH....there i go....both feet swept out from me and i land right on my ass! I saved my camera though, no harm done to me either. I sit there a few minutes as i hear the kids running around the back of the house towards the car port. I'm thinking to myself, "What the hell, that just took me by total surprise!" Apparently underneath this misleading beauty of white fluff~pleasant to the eyes~ looking snow, it's slick as snot on the concrete. I laugh at myself and say "CRAP everyone missed it." Even though i had a slippery start we had a great time! 

Oh and i wasn't the only one to slip and fall when it was all said and done! 

Happy Winter Everyone Enjoy

hold my hand

I'm five years old, I'm with my daddy. I feel so happy to be with him, our night out together with no boys yelling at me and calling me ugly or that I'm a stupid girl.
It's late, i didn't realize how dark it was outside until now. We stand at the beginning curve in the street, where a distant street light behind us can still make out a faint path for us. My dad stops...for the road ahead of us only has two things lighting it's path, the moon's reflective glow and a faint sight of a yellowish porch light softly peaking through a row of evergreens on the side of my grandma's house.

It's an old road, no street lights. During the day this road seems harmless but can definitely speak it's history with each cobble stone that was set in place. Looking like it's set there to hold up the road from it's very edge's. The edge of the road scares me, that my ankle might twist to have me fall down the side of it. Falling into a pit of darkness a place that seems so deep that the natural lights can't reach it. The bright side of me is telling me that it is only about a three foot drop but the drop wasn't the troublesome part. It's the dept of black shadow that seems to leark down there amongst the bottom. A hand waiting to grab me so i can not reach my father once i fall. A slithering night stalker that is waiting for me. These very thoughts scare me, i begin to sink my head down into my shoulders and clinch my hands to my dress. I just stand there frozen tracking every glimpse of light with my eyes so i can see the pavement.

I look up at my father, he's already looking down at me and then i hear him say so safely "Hold my hand baby girl." I tuck my little five year old hand into his so tightly and we begin our walk up Penacky Hill.

a fall night

Sitting by the fire, flames trickling with grey smoke, wood burnt red and popping as the heat intensifies. I relax my feet next to the cocoon wrapped heated stones that create a barrier for the fallen flickering flames of slivered wood. The warmth hugs me as i bundle up in my hoodie and continue to relax by lighting my cigarette.
I'm not alone, i can hear booze induced laughter and voices changing pitch with each creative story shared.
I feel alone by not engaging in conversation but i don't mind. I like it, i like that it doesn't bother anyone if i just sit to the side and become hypnotized by this dancing fire and all the comfort that it provides me.
My eyes become dry from lack of blinking. An intense red flamed light is still present even when i manage to blink or look away. This draws me even closer to the center of this ancient custom. My lips starve for some moisture. My face feels so tight from the lack of time i have spent away from the fire.
I can't help but feel empowered by this erotic display of visual movement. I just want to hop to my feet and dance around the fire shaking my hands in the air, skipping my steps with a high knee while occasionally putting in a twirl. I ask myself, would these people think that i have went crazy or maybe join me to invoke the night fire on this most beautiful night?

to you dear friend

There are some people whom are introduced to your life and then in their leisurely suttle way becomes imprinted into the history of you.
The memories that can be shared amongst two people can be wholesome in stories while sharing your times with others.
Living in those years and becoming part of each others life is the cost of living. It's those times and those people who will impact you the most and become very important to you.
Even though those times may have ended, maybe even years ago...you are a friend of mine and one i will never forget. I will hold onto our memories and keep them near and dear in my heart. I will share my memories with pride and smile at the thought of them.
Time may have passed us.
Life did indeed strengthen us.
Advice attempted to guide us.
Death may have separated us.
Memories of friendship will keep us together.
If you don't already know, i will say it again. Thank you for making me laugh, being supportive when my life was down and giving me advice even when i didn't ask for it...i was listening!
I will miss you.
I will always remember you.
Rest In Peace Dear Friend.

treat no trick

 

Halloween night in 1985, we lived in O'fallon at the time. My Aunt Lisa and mom were putting the final touches on my costume. I wanted to be a black cat this year and black cat i shall. I was so excited, this was the first year i was able to really have my own choice in a costume. I was ready, finally done! My long sandy blond hair left curly and down, a pair of black cat ears on top of my head. Face painted with a pink nose and whiskers on my cheeks. Black body suit on, the cutest little black fluffy tail dangling from my bottom. Oh an i mustn't forget, this was the '80's now, my black knit leg warmers from top of foot reaching up to my entire leg. Feet resting in my little girl Mary Jane's. I felt so felinish in my new outer body, I'm sure i walked with a spring in my step.
The other two girls are now here. They are sisters, April and Sandy, i grabbed my pillow case and we were now out the door into the cool brisk night. Kids are running around all over the place, costumes of all sorts. We decide to start at the beginning of Runney Meade and work our way down.
The porch light is on and they have a wooden deck, i see my brother Rob doing a back flip off of the porch rail. He then walks up to me and says "She makes you work for your candy!" As he walks away, at this moment i just want to turn around and go back home. I am scared, the kids before me were all doing something for their treat. I don't know what to do, i have no talent. I'm shy, i never like any amount of attention to be on me. I feel as if this may have just ruined my Halloween.
We're up, it's our turn, April was in gymnastics so she did a flip and the splits so it was nothing for he. Sandy was in dance so she did a couple of spins and tapped her feet a bit, she went through like a breeze.
Oh god I'm frozen, now it's my turn! I have no idea what to do! I certainly can't do what they have done. So i hold out my pillowcase, in my frozen scared state and say "Trick or Treat." The woman laughs at me and says "Oh no, if you want a treat your going to have to do a trick!" God i stand there for what seems like an eternity with April, Sandy and this woman just staring at me.
All that i can think of is...
"Knock knock!"
She looks at me and smiles "Who's there?"
"Meow"
"Meow who?"
I hold out my pillowcase and say "Meow can i have some candy please?"
She laughs and places some candy in my bag. I was relieved and thankful that did the trick. I'm also thankful that for the rest of that Trick or Treating night this was the only "Trick" i had to do.